Real girls in their own place.
Not too crazy and just a pinch of naughty...
Too often these days “It Girls” are quickly labelled as “witty, sexy and hawt”. As if by magic each new ingenue just happens to be a Holy Trinity of personality, intelligence and good looks. All things to all people if you will. So I find myself wondering, isn’t that handy considering the career they decided to pursue? As opposed to an accountant or say a matador. Is it a prerequisite that matadors be clever and photogenic also? Yet in person (i.e. a talk show) they are rarely as riveting as their interviews promised. Which got me thinking, are some of these writers taking liberties with the truth? Not to be the purveyor of the ridiculously obvious, but sexy girls in LA are not usually the sharpest tools in the shed. Statistically speaking.
(*BTW you can’t count the likes of Lake Bell and Olivia Munn, because there are two in a million. Which here in Los Angeles, I mean in the most literal of senses).
So where pray tell were are all these magazines discovering such bright young things, with superb comic timing? I began to feel that in some instances they might be crying wolf.
Then I met Pisha Warden.
Model good looks, funny as hell with breasts that would make most women jealous and any man tremble at the mere sight. No really they are quite exquisite even fully clothed! In one brief meeting all my doubts that such creatures existed was erased immediately, in fact so impressed was I by Pisha (and her bosoms) I decided to take creative license and invent a word especially just for her. And that word is "Wisexot" (pronounced whi-seh-sot)
A culmination of all. Rolled together in one.
Pisha is Wisexot!
We’d spoken briefly beforehand on the phone, we discussed her ethnic background and for one fleeting moment it appeared that her grandmother (on her father’s side) may have been from the same island as my dad. Then on further investigation Pisha remembered that her grandmother was in fact from British Honduras and not Barbados after all. It was strange but I was utterly disappointed that our island bond was a mistake and yet I’d never even met the girl. Odd. I knew she was a creative spirit, enjoyed all sides of film making, music and art. She’d recently finished a project she was very proud of called "We Are Young" which she’d sent me, along with a Kickstarter link about "Limbus". All this while booking a stand up show at the Improv no less. This lady had a lot of energy. Meeting Pisha in person I must say (as her MIMP photo shoot suggests), she is incredibly striking to look at. Red lips, asymmetrical bob and ice green eyes that you would pay good money to duplicate. Very “Kitten with A Whip.” I began recording as we sat down to brunch.
Pisha Warden: Wouldn’t it be weird if the people behind us were having a really private conversation and we didn’t hear it all now, but when you play back the recording later - you hear everything. And they are plotting.
Falene Nurse: I hear those fateful words "… and then we’ll take out the president."
Pisha Warden: We try to go to the police, but they aren’t interested. They aren’t having ANY of it!
Falene Nurse: God, how awful lol (I feel even in jest that I might be going to hell for this particular banter).
Pisha Warden: Then I’m like, "Wait, wait, you don’t understand. We’re recording an interview because I’m on a website in my underpants. Hey man… just hear me out!”
You kinda had to be there to appreciate the absurdity of this conversation, especially as we were in a French Cafe on the strip in Boys-town, Los Angeles (the gay mecca of Santa Monica Blvd). Instantly I liked this girl, she’s wasn’t restricted by being too PC and found humor in the slightly macabre.
FN: Top comics of all time?
PW: Larry David, Louis CK, John Hodgman and Margie Mintz. Love her!
FN: Top 3 fave female comics?
PW: Amy Poelher, Margie Mintz, Janeane Garofalo.
FN: What’s your fave accent for a man?
PW: English and Scottish.
FN: The Scotts are pretty smooth.
PW: Even an average looking English dude, is hotter because of his accent.
FN: 3 Favorite female musicians?
PW: Ella Fitzgerald, could listen to her all day long. Brandi Carlile is really talented and I have a lot of respect for her. And Chrissie Hynde.
FN: Do you have 3 top bands?
PW: U2 ("One" is tattooed on her forearm).
FN: Did you see that video that they did that was like “Wings Of Desire”?
PW: Oh where they whisper in people’s ears, I wanted to be that girl so bad. Whisper in my ear dammit.
FN: I think Wim Wenders did the music video, that video gave me chills.
PW: I like Radiohead and the Sex Pistols too.
FN: You dating anyone at the moment?
PW: Kind of, I guess lol.
FN: Who does he resemble, so I get a visual.
PW: Someone said he looked like Thomas Hardy, which I’d never thought of because I’m not sure who he is.
FN: That’s a good look. Last date?
PW: With him, we had sushi (she smiles a little at the thought).
FN: Ah the Hardalike.
PW: Again, someone said that to me.
FN: He’s lovely.
PW: We ate sushi and watched movies all night.
FN: How many times have you been in love?
PW: 3 times in my life.
FN: When was the last time?
PW: A while ago, it lasted about a year. I was in this weird cycle that if I didn’t hear from him I would worry. Late night worrying. When it was over I didn’t have bad feelings towards him, it just wasn’t a healthy situation to be in.
FN: The Midnight Man, you worried about him in the middle of the night.
PW: When were you in love last?
FN: Years ago. My odd ball neighbor Giles.
PW: Giles? Giles!
FN: I know. I fell madly in love fast, but we never had "the sex."
PW: Why not?
FN: He was a high risk, we’ll just leave it at that.
PW: It’s weird the ones that you fall for.
FN: Like the “Midnight Man.” I bet he doesn’t know he was the “Midnight Man.”
PW: That’s right, I could have had Midnight Men. But I didn’t. And it sounds like you made your old neighbor into a cat lol.
FN: Well he would climb in through my window to sleep over.
PW: I’m never going to try and fix someone again.
FN: What role would you have loved to have played?
PW: It’s a silly one, nothing famous or acclaimed just a film that’s sentimental to me. It’s an 80s movie called “Caveman”, with Ringo Starr, Shelly Long and Dennis Quaid. They speak cave talk. And I would be Shelly Long in that movie. Or “Moulin Rouge” and “Big Trouble In Little China!” The green eyed Asian girl, when I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be that chick.
FN: If I were male and wanted to woo you, how would I go about that?
PW: I like spontaneous adventures. If we ended up on a first date driving up to Big Sur because there’s a place he loved that does the best coffee in the morning, I would be so down for that. Yet at the same time I like the structure of a courtship. Even though I’m not a girlie girl, I like being treated like a lady.
FN: Who’s your celeb crush right now?
PW: I have a talent crush on Carlos Dengler. I would love to be able to play guitar like that.
FN: How about lust? Making you forget all pride and approach them for a pic?
PW: Just out of pure lust, mmmm. Brian Wilson. Definitely him, yum. I actually did one time. Just so I could touch him, but I do have admiration for what he does. So does that count?
PW: Brian Wilson? The Beach Boy?
FN: No, no lol. The pitcher for The San Francisco Giants?
God I know nothing of American sports, which is blindingly clear to Pisha. She tries to help me out.
PW: Really big beard, that looks like he has shoe polish in it. Well him, that’s my team too though. But even if he was untalented, still him.
I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t even know what sport we were talking about.
FN: Did you grope him?
PW: No, no! But I did stroke his arm. Two weeks after they won the world series, I was having my b’day party at a bar in West LA and I saw him. So I had that moment, a few drinks in mind you.
FN: Well it was your B’day.
PW: His body guards were scary, but I took my b’day pic. My dad loves him too. And I did feel that pitching arm, mmmmm.
He was super nice about it. I think my dad was even more excited about that picture than me.
FN: He’s a giant’s fan?
PW: Oh yeah. I had to remind him, Dad calm down it’s just-a-lucky-picture. The guy just won the world series he’s probably sleeping with a Victoria Secret’s model.
FN: Maybe even the whole catalogue?
PW: He’s got a stable of them out back lol. You ever ask for a pic?
FN: Mmm twice actually, threw caution to the wind. Had nothing to do with respect or their abilities, I just thought I can cop a feel here if I play my cards right.
PW: How’d that work out?
FN: Well one when I was sober, the 2nd when I was drunk. And the 2nd one seemed just a little scared of me and that’s ok.
PW: Isn’t that assault?
FN: Could be.
PW: Who did you assault when you were sober?
FN: Oh the Geordie actor from Biker Grove!
(I forgot where I was for a minute, must be the Mimosa’s.)
PW: Ok you just spoke a different language.
FN: Geordie, means from Newcastle in England. That “Sons of Anarchy” fella, Charlie Hunnam and it’s funny cause they are forced into this "obliging the public" mode.
PW: Ah nice.
FN: So I took my picture and I too stroked an arm - and I took my time.
PW: MMmmm arms lol.
FN: And that boy is firm.
It occurs to me at this point if we were men discussing lady athletes and actresses, we could get into serious trouble for boasting about our “arm stroking” conquests. And then keeping a photographic record of the incidents, would be considered perverse. Thank God I’m not alone in my objectifications of the professionally pretty man.
FN: What should people know about you, besides that you look lovely in your underwear?
PW: Do not take anything I say very seriously, especially on Twitter. Keep in mind that I may or may not be sober when Tweeting. Sometimes I make jokes and people think it’s a real comment. I made a wisecrack about the whole Asian fetish type of guy.
FN: I know where you’re coming from with that.
PW: So I made this joke about the Asian lady who does my bikini wax and Tweeted "somewhere a white guys brain just exploded." And it was supposed to be silly. It was just a funny idea to me.
FN: Well the guys with the hardcore Asian fetish tend to be of the caucasian persuasion. You can say it, hell I will.
PW: I was just being silly though.
FN: Let’s be honest, he probably was a white guy lol.
PW: Should I have said that? I wish I had been all cocky and said "that’s right, cause I just blew your mind, BOOM!"
(she creates an invisible atom explosion with her hands - hip hop style)
FN: I wish you had.
PW: I know but the implication that I was serious about any of it. I’m a juvenile dork!
FN: It was a racial satirical thing also.
PW: Yes and I don’t think he got that.
FN: That’s because he’s white! Wow I have probably offended all white American men by this point.
PW: It could’ve been awkward.
FN: I find it’s a really great way to stop a discussion though. Just throw in "well that’s because your white" and all debate stops. Instantly. How do you find dating LA men?
PW: I have a very careful screening process for boys that live in LA.
FN: Well you have to, this city is rampant with STDs.
PW: What have you heard?
FN: I’ve heard horror stories. Rich, poor, old, young, LA men seem to forget all about common sense. It’s a cesspool out here.
PW: Wow that’s pretty gross lol. No I’ve heard some LA stories myself. Or worst the married guys that go out without their rings looking. Yep, heard of those too.
FN: Oh dear.
PW: A lesson learned the hard way, or in that case, 2nd hand through a friend that had learned the lesson the hard way.
FN: And for whatever reason they have no interest in keeping their own pee pees safe. Protect your penis boys, you only have one.
PW: There’s also that creepy Sugar Daddy syndrome out here, there’s so much of that being offered around all the time. And I don’t want to be judgmental, but that’s so messy. Your basically just being offered to help break up a family for a nice car and a weekend date.
I pity the Sugar Daddy that ever makes on move on Pisha. She will drag him by his hair plugs back into reality and finish him off with an acerbic tongue. If only there were more like her out here. I take it back I don’t pity him at all, in fact I imagine it would be quite fun to witness.
FN: So originally you were in real estate?
PW: Yes my dad was a real estate appraiser and I started working for him when I was in college, up in the Bay area. I was actually in college studying to be a veterinarian.
FN: You’ve done it all.
PW: I’ve been about a bit. Then I did an acting class and that kind of changed everything in my life. I realized that’s what I loved to do. Working on the more creative side of things. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if I moved here a decade ago though.
FN: There’s a lot of young men out here who desperately want to “be” Iggy Pop. Instead of just being satisfied with a job in the industry they love, they want to be the next punk messiah.
PW: They wanna be a STAR! (she uses jazz hands to emphasize the point)
PW: You see everything that I have tried within film making makes me happy. There isn’t one thing that I’ve been given the opportunity to do that I didn’t enjoy. Except maybe editing, I might be overwhelmed by doing that as career. Being a producer I loved! Working as a first AD is fun, working in casting would be something I would thoroughly enjoy. I love knowing that there is going to be a creative place for me in this industry, even if it wasn’t acting and I would be just as happy. Don’t get me wrong I would be happy acting for the rest of my life too. Each day I wake up I’m truly grateful for my life right now.
FN: How did you come to that contentment so young?
PW: Well I was on a completely different path at one point, I was married…
PW: Yep, I was married for about 3 years, building a career in real estate in the Bay Area and it was a great life. It just didn’t feel like my life. I was really young, living in the burbs, straight out of college. I hadn’t really experienced the world, so inevitably I just hit a wall. Katelyn had this song she played at a show and the lyrics really hit home, the last line is "while I’m living someone else’s life, somebody else has mine."
PW: That explains it best I think.
PW: So that was that life.
FN: Where do you stand up?
PW: I’m a student with the Upright Citizen Brigade and I did a stand up show at the Improv which was my biggest thing to date. Usually I do small coffee houses.
FN: Blogging or Twitter?
PW: Twitter is my thing. And now the MIMP followers are my new Twitter friends, if you wanna talk to me I’ll talk to you.
FN: What made you decide to do the shoot?
PW: A friend of mine, who is now one of my room mates- he’s really big on Tumblr. So he had me check out some of the pictures. It was the concept that got me, it was such a celebration of every woman in all of their forms - and shot so beautifully. Also the confidence the women clearly had to do this was inspiring. So when I got back that night after out drinking with the boys, I took a closer look at the MIMP site and then saw the submission page. And I thought “Let me give it a shot! Why not.”
FN: So the concept and photography convinced you?
PW: Yeah I do think that he’s an amazing artist and I was curious to see how the pictures would translate, especially after seeing these girls and how he captured them all. It made me wonder. I also liked the philosophy of the site, if you want to collaborate - come aboard.
FN: But you had never done any lingerie pics before?
PW: No, I mean I’ve done head shots or scenes as an actress. But never a shoot in my lingerie alone.
FN: Did that make you nervous?
PW: Oh I was terrified lol. Even though I like the idea of being totally comfortable in my own skin.
FN: Yeah but it’s a different thing when it’s just you and a photographer and a camera. And you’re in your undies.
PW: I didn’t want to chicken out. Then I panicked and then I just went for it. And I’m really happy with the results.
FN: I think it would be intimidating to most women. He shoots professional models and actresses for Esquire who to be fair are more accustom to that territory, as part of their job.
PW: Yeah that’s not part of my repertoire, usually. But I went through the process with Katelyn. After I shot, she did it too so we gave each other pep talks. Having a buddy doing it too - was great.
FN: So did the 2 of you submit at the same time, or did you become friends through the site?
PW: It was kind of a coincidence, that we submitted at the same time. We barely new each other at first, then over the next 6 months our social circles came to be one. So a few days before I shot we were at a house party and we discovered that we were both shooting with the same photographer. Which is kind of random.
FN: It does suggest that you were like minded people. Maybe that’s what attracts the MIMP girls to the site, although they are from different backgrounds and jobs, they are like minded?
PW: I think that could be definitely part of it and after the shoot I’ve started Tweeting with one of the other girls on MIMP. Now we are FB friends and have grown pretty buddy, buddy. It’s like being a member of a sisterhood or a club. It’s really fun.
FN: Or you’ve joined a cult. You are one of the Sister Wives now lol.
PW: Or we are like the angels to his Charlie. We just do whatever he wants us to do, when he comes up with new ideas.
FN: So the people you live with now, you seem to love?
PW: I do, they are like my family. Fresh, great energy, kindred spirits. And they are the people that I worked together on the film with.
FN: That’s cool you are living with a film making crew, in a nice craftsman house.
PW: It’s got this great porch and we socialize, the humming bird feeder’s right there, dogs running around. It’s pretty sweet. Sometimes we play music and jam.
FN: What do you play?
PW: Bass and guitar. We’re thinking about starting a little band. Boygirlband. It’s a working title.
FN: So fitting that I’m gonna take pics of you at The Troubadour.
PW: You know I’ve never been in that place. Even when I lived in the neighborhood.
FN: Nor me lol.
PW: I wanted to see the intimate Prince gig they were suppose to have there.
FN: Yes he has a beautiful new prodigy now.
PW: Can you imagine being Prince’s prodigy, how does that evenhappen? “Hey man, I’m Prince’s prodigy ain’t no big deal.” That’s wild!
FN: I find it kind of fascinating, it’s like watching Princification. Would you ever want to be a prodigy like that?
PW: I don’t think I would be good at it, I don’t think I could. If I were ever at a point where that was even offered as an opportunity, I would hope people close to me would advise against it - in a way. I think it would be really hard to do. It’s hard enough being yourself man lol.
FN: I mean going in you have to know a part of your identity will get lost, but what young person could say no?
PW: That’s a tough one, I guess I would hope that I would feel if he saw something worth molding, there was enough talent there that I wouldn’t have to go through the reinvention route. That would boost my confidence enough to keep plugging away, at my own style. But I mean, would anyone say no?
FN: You see that’s really interesting. I would never have thought of that.
PW: And if it didn’t work out it would make a great life story. "Hey, remember when Prince wanted to change who I was man. That was CRAZY" lol.
Interviewing naturally funny girls makes asking questions so much more entertaining. I’ve been laughing throughout, which is great. Think of Pisha as a very attractive class clown.
FN: Do you think of yourself as a musician?
PW: Music has been a big part of my life, but I find it more personal and private than film. It feels more exposing than acting, so the fact that I am even willing to try and play in a band - and get up in front of people, is a huge step for me. In the last year I was so comfortable with this group of friends that I got out the guitar. I’ve never played in front of an audience. Katelyn is gonna get involved too, so it feels very safe for me.
We order 2 more lattes and 2 more Mimosa’s.
PW: I’ll just do a ‘lil extra Bikram Yoga tomorrow.
FN: I wanna be like you, I want to do things like Bikram Yoga everyday.
PW: Almost every day, I try.
FN: I have no discipline, you see I could never be Prince’s prodigy.
PW: That one small, little reason, that’s what’s holding you back.
FN: Not the lack of musical or any other kind of talent, but the not doing yoga. That’s what’s held be back from being anyone’s prodigy I think lol.
There’s nothing more enjoyable than a chit-chat interspersed with the nonsensical and of course someone who appreciates the ridiculous as much as I do, like Pisha. And yes she was also smokin’ "Wisexot".